We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
