Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
