Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize