Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
