We're facebook friends in real life
everyone is single if you try hard enough
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
do herpes really smell.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
