so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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