I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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