$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
