It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
