not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
She bit a glass in half.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
