I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
