apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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