I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize