it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I supernannyed him into submission
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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