Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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