If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
