I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
