watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
