I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize