carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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