maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
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