i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
