I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
