i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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