your parents love me but you hate me
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
