my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
He kissed a someone with a penis
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just had sex on a roof
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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