I seem to have left my pride at pride
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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