i think my mom watched the whole time
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
