If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Also, beer. Big fan.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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