Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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