So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.