I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing