you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
