hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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