Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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