Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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