her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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