Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
