I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
