it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
