Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize