Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize