its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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