Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
