dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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