You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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