Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
We got so high we made milksteak
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
