my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
