She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Randomize
