yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
