So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
