there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
