Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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