my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
