take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
