New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
only if we run a train.
done.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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